I Left My iPod in El Segundo

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Five Sidewalk Commandments

with 2 comments

1.  Thou shalt not walk side by side in numbers greater than Two.

What is with DC area business men needing to take up the entire the sidewalk like a bunch of schoolgirls?  I clipped a dude on my skateboard because he was walking 4 deep, forcing me to get off my board and walk around those assholes.  Businessmen, paranoid tourists, schoolgirls just knock it off.

2. Thou shalt not stand in the middle of the sidewalk.  Ever.

Stopping and texting/talking on the phone.  Having a conversation with people.  The sidewalk is not the place for this genius.

3. Thou shalt not be oblivious.

I have no sympathy for people who spazz out at the last minute when they realize there’s a skateboard approaching behind them, they’re not that stealthy.  Especially when not wearing headphones or not deaf.  How is any so self centered or scared of their surroundings that they dont take stock of whats approaching.  If I’m walking and trying to get past you and you’re to clueless to realize dont be mad if you get a hard shoulder.

4. Use common sense.

If someone is skating there is no need for sudden panic, give them the same room to maneauver as anyone else and there wont be skateboard crashing into your achilles heel.  Promise.

5.  Walk faster!

Old people. Pregnant ladies.  Small children.  These are the only people with an excuse and the only ones I show any deference to. I cant count how many times so slow people, or slow people in groups(even worse) have held me up from gettin to the crosswalk before it expires.  Even when i have nowhere to go, I move fast.  Time is money, dont you have somewhere to be or something?

Every day on my way to work I encounter an enormous amount of stupidity on DC sidewalks.  If people used more common sense and transferred the mindset from driving onto the sidewalks, shit might be more bearable.

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Written by lazypen

October 14, 2008 at 1:43 am

Posted in Humor, lazy, Life, Writings

Tagged with , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. skateboards i understand can be easily heard, but i have on occasion been surprised by a biker as sometimes those are pretty quiet.

    also, you could just as easily call these hallway commandments. most of the same things are my pet peeves at school…

    Jesse

    October 15, 2008 at 12:49 am

  2. Bikes are silent assassins that can be annoying at times when they seem to come out of nowhere.

    now that you mention, i see that these same principles could be applied to hallways. It always used to piss me off trying to rush to class before the next period and some slow jerk would wind up being in front of me on the stairs or something/

    lazypen

    October 15, 2008 at 1:00 am


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